The secret to effective control of anger at work: Mastering emotions, you will get success
When it comes to negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, anger, many of us often try to ignore them. However, according to Deanna Geddes, a scholar at Temple University’s Fox Business School, doing the opposite is the right choice. That means you need to figure out how to control negative emotions.
As someone who has studied the impact of anger at work, Geddes said: ” Anger is a healthy emotion. It is the body’s signal that something is upsetting us. However, angry emotions often dominate all actions. Sometimes it makes you not apple enough and rude. So, you should not ignore the signals of your body, but stop and think about the things that created the anger. ”
Here are 6 simple steps to handle your anger at work .
1. Actively separate yourself from stressful situations
In conversations and discussions, if you feel yourself starting to become impatient, Gedde advises you to quickly withdraw to calm down. To withdraw from the discussion smoothly, you can choose words like: “I feel a bit angry about that. Give me a few minutes to cool down, and then we’ll continue to talk about this and work together to find a solution. ”
It seems that your suspension of the controversial topic will be a bit awkward, but it is the most appropriate solution at this time because if you continue to discuss it, it will only add fuel to the fire and make the people inside become angry.
2. Practice how to regain composure
According to the scientific director of Stanford University’s Research and Education Center Emma Seppälä, the problem we often face when angry is that it stimulates emotional centers in the brain, making it hard for you to think logically. So you will need to calm down a bit before going back to solving the situation that caused the anger. If not, you might say something bad and likely to offend others.
Seppälä said: “Lower your anger and that will make communication much more effective. Breathe, walk or watch a short comedy will help you quickly regain composure “.
3. Avoid words like “never” or “always” when arguing
Reshaping your thoughts is an important way to get a reasonable conclusion in every debate. Because angry thoughts are often “exaggerated and dramatized”, according to the American Psychological Association.
For example, when you are angry with someone, you often say words like people “always wrong” and you will “never work with her / him again”. Those words often hurt others.
Instead of thinking “my whole life has been ruined” or “the whole situation is terrible”, you should think positively in the way: “This is not pleasant but I will find a way to solve it “.
4. Understand that others are not intentionally making you angry
When it comes to your peers – people who can make you angry at any time, Seppälä thinks that in many cases they are not even aware of their anger.
“Almost all anger is caused by unintentional words or actions. It is possible that the person you are angry with doesn’t intentionally hurt you. ”
For example, when your boss always manages every employee’s activities closely, it’s probably not because she hates you but actually just because she believes it’s a way to care more about her employees.
5. Discuss your frustration without blaming others
In a relationship, the best way to express problems is to talk to each other frankly and positively, while avoiding blaming others.
One way to do that, according to Dr. Michael McNulty, a master coach of Gottman Institute and the Chicago Relationship Center founder, is to express your feelings and desires rather than find a way to blame others .. A typical sentence in this case is: “When incident X happens, I feel Y and I need Z”.
Remember, you need to avoid blaming others because it doesn’t solve the problem, but it can also become the cause of the next rage.
6. Try to understand others
People tend to become extremely confident when they are angry .. And they try to find any evidence that they are right, and the other person is wrong. That blind faith sometimes makes them rigid and conservative. If you insist on keeping that attitude, you will not be able to find a solution to the problem, and even be able to make the situation worse.
It is important that after expressing your feelings, take the time to ask why the person is doing something that disappoints you. When you listen to other people’s views and ask ‘why’ instead of concluding bad things, you really see the problem objectively and fairly. As a result, you will develop deeper understanding and relationships based on communication and empathy.